THE MISCOMMUNICATION OPPORTUNITIES OF ABBREVIATIONS

            Oh, those abbreviations and acronyms! Where would we be without them? Communicating much better, actually.

            The purpose of language is to communicate. The purpose of abbreviations is to fail to communicate, it seems.

            I recall the time that my late husband and I were conversing with our home-security man. He persisted in repeatedly employing the abbreviation DNR. I know that I looked increasingly baffled, as the abbreviation simply did not fit his context. He finally noticed my confusion. He said, "Department of Natural Resources." I instantly replied, "Do Not Resuscitate." He twitched in startlement a bare moment after I did. My husband told me later that the visitor and I both looked quite comical exhibiting the exact same startled gesture in nearly the same instant.

            Of course, DNR is hardly the worst offender that I have encountered. By far the chief miscommunicator is HR. To a former teacher like me, it means "Homeroom." To an office-cubicle-worker, it means "Human Resources." To a sex-education teacher, it means "Human Relations." To medical personnel, it means "Heart-rate." And I have recently been told that to a jock, it means "Homerun." Wow. What a splendid array of opportunities to miscommunicate!

            PR: Public Relations or Personal Representative or Puerto Rican?

            POV: Point Of View or Persistence Of Vision?

            EMS: East Middle School or Emergency Medical Service?

            DOA: Department On Aging or Dead On Arrival?

            HD: hard drive or high definition?

            RPG: role-playing game or rocket-propelled grenade?

            NA: North America or not applicable?

            MC: Master of Ceremonies or Motorcycle Club?

            And let's not fail to mention the current new awkward one: BLM. Bureau of Land Management...or...not.... Biting My Lip.